Chapter 3-
We resume the adventure with our hero, as he kneels on the beach. His hands pressed into the sand, head bowed down as if in prayer, but a man like him NEEDS no prayer. He was a man who believed in himself and no one else and dare I say, not even god. With his head down, he sheds no tears. ‘What for?’ he would ask himself. Virgo had been through much worse throughout his life’s adventures.
From the grim face, appears a smile. Almost senile, to be honest. He releases his fingers from the sands clutches, looks up and scans the premises. From right to left, he sees nothing but tall trees. Beneath him, sand and behind, the blue sea. A sight like this should be able to bring a grown man to tears. ‘Why?’ you ask me. Its simple, actually. Who the bloody hell WOULDN’T cry their eyes out when they’re stranded on an unknown island without a confirmation that they’d live to see the age of 40?
Virgo bravely stands on his two sturdy feet. Summoning his guts and sanity, he shouts out to his crew “Alright then lads. Oh stop crying Pal! Its not like we’re lost?! …… oh wait.” he paused for a moment and then resumed, “but anyway, stand up! We’re finding ourselves a way outta’ here”.
“But Captain, why should we escape this haven?” Jabana asked. Jabana of course adapted to this environment very well, having been raised in a similar surrounding.
“To resume the race of course, my good man. Have you forgotten our little challenge?”
At this point, the crew were convinced that the captain was out of his mind. I mean, what kind of whack job would think about a race just hours after being robbed and left to die on life boats? The crew had a small huddle and pushed little Billy Man to voice their disapproval.
Poor old Billy Man said with a squeaky and soft voice “Captain Virgo, the crew and I think that it would be ‘wiser’ if we rested here first, and maybe if we feel comfortable, we could even settle down here” by this time, Billy had noticed the furious look on the captain’s face and continued “MAYBE, of course. Just maybe.” He had already started sweating profusely.
“WISE, eh?” said Virgo in a really sarcastic tone. “and this, coming from a couple of dumb nuts who eat bird poo for kicks??” his tone had changed to a more threatening one.
“But sir, THAT was a bet…” replied Billy Man, rather embarrassed by the Captains last comment.
“I DON’T GIVE A RATS ARSE ABOUT WHAT IT WAS FOR!” the captain was obviously fuming at this point. “I don’t care what you hollow heads think, but as long as you’re my crew, you’ll do as I say. Got it?” Virgo had already turned to the rest of the crew.
“With all do respect, Captain. Its only a race.” Billy let slip out, something no one Virgo knew would dare say in his presence. With that, Billy Man was sent flying 3 feet backwards landing on his back, compliments of the captains right foot.
Immediately, the rest of the crew got up and set out doing their parts to get back into the deep blue sea. Some hopelessly pretending to be doing something, but looked so dumb that the first mate Jabana chose to overlook it. The crew remained silent for the few hours that followed.
* * * * *
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
An Idiotic Leader
Virgo Johnson and the Race Across the Seven Seas
By Subashnaveen
Chapter 1
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, if I do not proceed by telling you this tale, no, if I do not proceed by telling you this ‘legend’, than I would be committing a very sinful crime. A very sinful crime indeed.
We shall begin our story in the North Atlantic Ocean, there we find our brave and courageous hero, dangling vigorously, about 20 feet from the ground. The reason for this behavior lies just 5 feet above him. Sitting proudly on top of the mast, a little Rhesus monkey, all the way from India, named Parm. Virgo had slipped, fell and got stuck, trying to get hold of the playful monkey.
“Captain! Does ye’ need any’s help?”
“Never mind, Pal. I’m quite fine”. The truth was actually very obvious. The captain desperately needed help, but he was just too proud to admit it.
“Captain! Are ye’ really sure ye’ don’t need any’s help?”
“I’m fine! I’m fine! I’ll be down there in just a- UURGGH- moment”, the captain shrugged.
“THUMP!!” The rope had snapped, and down came crashing, the captain. With all pride still in place, he said, “Told you I would get down”. Then he gave a little smile, (hiding the throbbing pain that he was feeling in his back, at the moment) and walked into his cabin.
It was only earlier that day, that Virgo received a letter from the king of Turkey. Actually, it was more of an invitation, to join a race. It was not just an ordinary race, mind you. It was a race, meant to destroy, yet create, at the same time. It was a race, to separate the true sailors, from the frauds. It should be called, ‘the’ race, to be exact, because no other race, can live up to the hype, of this one.
As I was saying, Virgo had received an invitation, to join this race, just while he was docking at American shores. At first, he decided NOT to go, but 6 bottles of booze, and 3 to 4 women later, there he was! On his way to the biggest race of them all. At this moment, a drunk man like Virgo would probably say, ‘What could possibly go wrong?’, and its drunk men like him, who jinx all our luck, because at this very moment, 2 ships filled with scoundrels, a.k.a pirates, were headed their way.
Chapter 2
We join our hero, back in the captain’s cabin. Getting a back rub from Miss Marveck, who had tagged along on this journey.
“Pirates! I see pirates!! Two whole ships of em’!!” shouted Billy Man, and that was about all that he could do, because Billy was only 3 feet in height. The only reason a midget like him was on a ship, was the kind heartedness of Virgo Johnson with the help of 5 cups of whisky and also the fact that Billy would work for food.
All of the ship had gone mad with chaos. One ship of pirates was enough, but TWO?? That was just unfair.
“Calm down! Do you not know who we have as a captain??” reasoned Jabana, the captains trusty assistant. “Our captain has never let us down!” In walked a drunken Virgo. “Even when he is drunk beyond belief”. Jaba’s tone had changed dramatically. Now, even HE was not sure if the captain could save them. Apparently, Jabana’s disbelief arose when the captain started giving orders to the beer barrels, asking them to load the cannons.
“We’re DOOMED!!” shouted someone from the back.
“Ahh…” shrugged Virgo, now turning away from the beer barrels and towards the trembling people. “Quit whining! No bloody pirate is gonna get on MY bloody ship!” said Virgo, still unstable from all the booze. “No one!!”, and then he fell to the floor, hitting his head hard on one of the barrel beside him on his way down.
* * * * *
When Virgo woke up, it was night time. He could see the stars so clearly. It was an awesome sight, too beautiful to be shared, but the sky was for every one. The peaceful moment was disturbed by a thought. ‘What the bloody hell was he doing outside at this time of night?? He should be in his cozy cabin!!’ Then he realised, that the ground was moving far too unstably to be his ship. He quickly got up to his feet, turned right, then left, had a good look around, and then shouted, “WHERE IN THE NAME OF THE DEVIL AM I??” He lowered his voice and asked his first mate, “where’s my ship?? What are we doing, out in the ocean, on a ROW boat, in the middle of the night??”. Jabana’s reply came without much enthusiasm. Sleepily, in fact “the pirates took our ship, captain”. He let out a loud yawn. Beastly, if you ask me, “they we’re about to kill us, but the pirate captain thought it as a sin to kill a bunch of retarded grown men pleading for their lives with their drunk captain lying unconsciously on the floor. Pathetic, if you ask me, sir”. Virgo was just about to give a scathing comment on that when he spotted hope.
This time, hope did not come in a bottle, or a skimpy dress. It came in the form of land. Sweet, solid, simple land.
“LAND AHHOY!” shouted the captain. In a matter of seconds, the entire crew occupying their three lifeboats awoke, and celebrated with sleepy smiles on their faces.
“HURRAH” was all they could say.
#next update: 27th September 2007
By Subashnaveen
Chapter 1
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, if I do not proceed by telling you this tale, no, if I do not proceed by telling you this ‘legend’, than I would be committing a very sinful crime. A very sinful crime indeed.
We shall begin our story in the North Atlantic Ocean, there we find our brave and courageous hero, dangling vigorously, about 20 feet from the ground. The reason for this behavior lies just 5 feet above him. Sitting proudly on top of the mast, a little Rhesus monkey, all the way from India, named Parm. Virgo had slipped, fell and got stuck, trying to get hold of the playful monkey.
“Captain! Does ye’ need any’s help?”
“Never mind, Pal. I’m quite fine”. The truth was actually very obvious. The captain desperately needed help, but he was just too proud to admit it.
“Captain! Are ye’ really sure ye’ don’t need any’s help?”
“I’m fine! I’m fine! I’ll be down there in just a- UURGGH- moment”, the captain shrugged.
“THUMP!!” The rope had snapped, and down came crashing, the captain. With all pride still in place, he said, “Told you I would get down”. Then he gave a little smile, (hiding the throbbing pain that he was feeling in his back, at the moment) and walked into his cabin.
It was only earlier that day, that Virgo received a letter from the king of Turkey. Actually, it was more of an invitation, to join a race. It was not just an ordinary race, mind you. It was a race, meant to destroy, yet create, at the same time. It was a race, to separate the true sailors, from the frauds. It should be called, ‘the’ race, to be exact, because no other race, can live up to the hype, of this one.
As I was saying, Virgo had received an invitation, to join this race, just while he was docking at American shores. At first, he decided NOT to go, but 6 bottles of booze, and 3 to 4 women later, there he was! On his way to the biggest race of them all. At this moment, a drunk man like Virgo would probably say, ‘What could possibly go wrong?’, and its drunk men like him, who jinx all our luck, because at this very moment, 2 ships filled with scoundrels, a.k.a pirates, were headed their way.
Chapter 2
We join our hero, back in the captain’s cabin. Getting a back rub from Miss Marveck, who had tagged along on this journey.
“Pirates! I see pirates!! Two whole ships of em’!!” shouted Billy Man, and that was about all that he could do, because Billy was only 3 feet in height. The only reason a midget like him was on a ship, was the kind heartedness of Virgo Johnson with the help of 5 cups of whisky and also the fact that Billy would work for food.
All of the ship had gone mad with chaos. One ship of pirates was enough, but TWO?? That was just unfair.
“Calm down! Do you not know who we have as a captain??” reasoned Jabana, the captains trusty assistant. “Our captain has never let us down!” In walked a drunken Virgo. “Even when he is drunk beyond belief”. Jaba’s tone had changed dramatically. Now, even HE was not sure if the captain could save them. Apparently, Jabana’s disbelief arose when the captain started giving orders to the beer barrels, asking them to load the cannons.
“We’re DOOMED!!” shouted someone from the back.
“Ahh…” shrugged Virgo, now turning away from the beer barrels and towards the trembling people. “Quit whining! No bloody pirate is gonna get on MY bloody ship!” said Virgo, still unstable from all the booze. “No one!!”, and then he fell to the floor, hitting his head hard on one of the barrel beside him on his way down.
* * * * *
When Virgo woke up, it was night time. He could see the stars so clearly. It was an awesome sight, too beautiful to be shared, but the sky was for every one. The peaceful moment was disturbed by a thought. ‘What the bloody hell was he doing outside at this time of night?? He should be in his cozy cabin!!’ Then he realised, that the ground was moving far too unstably to be his ship. He quickly got up to his feet, turned right, then left, had a good look around, and then shouted, “WHERE IN THE NAME OF THE DEVIL AM I??” He lowered his voice and asked his first mate, “where’s my ship?? What are we doing, out in the ocean, on a ROW boat, in the middle of the night??”. Jabana’s reply came without much enthusiasm. Sleepily, in fact “the pirates took our ship, captain”. He let out a loud yawn. Beastly, if you ask me, “they we’re about to kill us, but the pirate captain thought it as a sin to kill a bunch of retarded grown men pleading for their lives with their drunk captain lying unconsciously on the floor. Pathetic, if you ask me, sir”. Virgo was just about to give a scathing comment on that when he spotted hope.
This time, hope did not come in a bottle, or a skimpy dress. It came in the form of land. Sweet, solid, simple land.
“LAND AHHOY!” shouted the captain. In a matter of seconds, the entire crew occupying their three lifeboats awoke, and celebrated with sleepy smiles on their faces.
“HURRAH” was all they could say.
#next update: 27th September 2007
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